It’s Not You, It’s Me


I loved him. Every fiber of my being was consumed by him. It wasn’t just his smile, his adorable laugh, his athleticism- it was his kind soul. The type of soul that wanted only the best for me and for everyone else he cared so deeply about. He was obsessed with making me the happiest girl in the world. Then it happened. I made a million mistakes. I took his love for granted. I was selfish. I was wrong. I didn’t want to share him. I was the kid at school who wanted the special toy for herself and therefore, ignored and shunned anyone else who wanted to play with it. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could take his pain away more than my own. I want to hold him when he’s sad, laugh with him when he’s happy, celebrate with him when he achieves his many goals. He is worth so much more than even he will ever realize. He is so special to not only me, but his friends, his family and his “mini-me” daughter(they are the same amazing soul, with the same button nose and goofy sense of humor). He makes everyone feel at ease. His smile is inviting and he captivated my heart faster than rain falls from the sky. I love him and I know he loves me, too. I am too flawed to deserve him but he let me have him for a long time anyway. He deserves a queen, not a court jester. One day I will repay the universe for giving me the best two years of my life, but until then I will sit and watch as he conquers his own demons and takes over the world. And let me tell you, I am so thankful that I got to have him for as long as I did and I am so proud of the man I was smart enough to have but not good enough to keep. In the words of the late Whitney (they could not be more fitting, thank God for music that says what the heart feels) “I will always love you.”

Thanks in advance for your opinion, pretty kiddie! xoxo

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